Pappa's Perspective, Post 10

Lindsay posted our birth story a few days ago...let me fill in a few details she (conveniently) may have missed.


Around 2PM, things started to get a little dicey. The combination of the Pitocin and her water having been broken caused the contractions to get very rough for Lindsay. Being the supportive & loving husband and birth partner I am, I tried to talk Lindsay through the first few. Things were going quite well, then I noticed that her violence was escalating.

The first bad contraction, she tip-tapped my hand with her finger tips while I talked.

The second one, she tip-tapped my hand with her knuckles while I talked.

Somewhere around number 7, she applied the mandible claw.

Our regular nurse was assisting with another birth, so a different nurse came in to get us another baby monitor strap; the previous strap had a run in with the toilet. At this moment, the whole process went to hell in a hand basket. Instead of getting a new strap, the nurse tried to ghetto-rig the monitor into an existing strap. Well, that would work just fine, 'cept the baby wasn't under the monitor. I digress...Lindsay calmly proclaims to the nurse that she would like to opt for the epidural. The nurse said "OK, I'll tell the anesthesiologist" and left the room.

...three seconds later she came back and said "You did say you wanted an epidural now, right?"

Despite the tone of this post, I'm not kidding...she came RIGHT BACK IN!

While that nurse was notifying the anesthesiologist, yet another nurse came in because they weren't getting vitals from mommy or baby. Another nurse noticed the lack of vitals as well, I assume she didn't know one had come to check, and came into the room too...

...then it got ugly.

A contraction hit and the fact that several medical personnel were in the room and there was not a needle in her back agitated the mommy-to-be to no end. She firmly repeated her desire for an epidural. A nurse left to go put in the order, when I let her know another nurse was taking care of that. The monitor issue had been corrected and all of the nurses left the room. Next thing I know, Lindsay's head spun 360 degrees and she screamed, "I want my f***in' epidural, and I WANT IT NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW".

So long Hypnobirthing...

The doc came in to let her know her number was 3 and he's currently serving number 2. That didn't go over very well. He left, having heard Lindsay's near-forceful desire for an epidural. A few nurses came and went, which again, didn't help matters any; another contraction, another escalation in violence. I was seriously starting to get scared. A nurse came in and gave, far and away, the worst instruction of the day; for Lindsay to sit on the bed facing the door...apparently sitting on the bed was the worst position she'd been in all day.

Three painful contractions later, I was in serious fear for my life. I didn't think I'd make it to see CJ born.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, the doctor came back into the room, set something down...and left. The poop hit the fan. Lindsay practically turned into a completely different person. In my typical attempt at calming a situation through humor, I said to Lindsay, "It's not like they have Coke machines outside of every room, the doctor goes out into the hall and presses the button and *poof* epidural!". The nurse wanted to laugh, but I think she was fearful for her life; Lindsay gave me a look that told me all I needed to know: "Now's not the time for jokes, jackass".

As another contraction came on, I headed this one off with a hug; I thought Lindsay was going to squeeze my head off of my shoulders. At this point, she started to threaten the anesthesiologist and inquired about why there were so many medical personnel in the room, but she hadn't gotten her epidural. There was something about her tone...

The doctor finally comes back in and is ready to rock and roll. As he starts trying to get the epidural in, I start getting queasy; the sticking and poking and...ugh, even thinking about it makes me sick. Anywho, the last nurse standing offers to give her something into the IV to help "take the edge off"; Lindsay basically tells the nurse to hurry-the-eff-up and she starts prepping the meds. As she's doing that, I'm sitting in the chair with my head between my legs, holding Lindsay's hand, discussing an exit strategy and the doctor starts prepping Lindsay for the possibility that an epidural might not be possible. She raised all kinds of hell every time he made the suggestion. In the midst of all this, Lindsay screams "OUCH, I CAN FEEL THAT!". The doctor says, "I'm not even touching you, the needle is..."

"I KNOW THAT!! THAT'S THE PROBLEM, I FEEL A CONTRACTION!! WHY ISN'T THE DAMN EPIDURAL IN YET!"

As the doctor stammered for a response, she turned her ire to the nurse...

"WHY IS THAT VIAL IN YOUR HAND?!" The nurse stated that she was going to put it into the IV.

"YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING IT FOR 5 MINUTES NOW!!!!!!"

She hastily inserted the meds into the IV. (I'm not joking, that's what happened!)

Reluctantly, the doctor told Lindsay he wouldn't be able to apply the epidural, but he would enlist a colleague to give it a go; at this point, I ran from the room to go get her mom. I get to the waiting room and she's not there. I asked June where she was and apprised June of the situation; just then, I could see Peggy down the hall. I explained the situation to Peggy and sent her into the room.

Luckily after about an 30 minutes or so, they were able to get the meds in and the Labor and Delivery Terror Alert was lowered back down to a "3".

More on my little guy wooing the nurses later...
-C